George Vernon Hudson Appreciation Day

Hanna and I have some difference of
opinion on the Powerpuff Girls, but I
can't deny that they pulled an Alan
Davies attributing daylight savings to
Ben Franklin.

I am absurdly excited at the prospect of swimming this Sunday being an hour later due to being in GMT. All in Chez Morningstar are pretty knackered at the moment, with even my daughter complaining that 'I sleepy' and demanding that people (well, mostly me) 'leave me alone again'. It is in this delicate state that we have to face the explanation of the difference between slapstick comedy and physical abuse.

It is also in this condition that I seem to have been declared arbiter of allowable partners for our traditionalish family board games New Year. This is choppy waters for me. I don't want to be down on other partners, but I also don't want to end up the fifth wheel and I really, really don't want to end up curled up in a ball in my bedroom like I did last birthday. Granted, that's a worst case scenario, but best not to be careless.

Partly the problem is that I want to be fair, but inevitably I don't mind Andrew's girlfriend being there because she doesn't cut into my time with Hanna; if anything her being there gives me more time with Hanna. But if I say yes to her, how is it fair to say no to Hanna's boyfriend? It isn't, is the answer, but I'm not sure it isn't something I might have to do from the standpoint of my own mental and emotional well being, so should I then say no to Sam as well? In some ways it would be easier if I had a problem with Hanna having another boyfriend in general (well, apart from the all-but insoluble question of terminology once the clear-cut husband/boyfriend dyad is expanded) rather than just struggling with a few specific instances. I could just be all 'nuh-uh' and not have to worry about offending people.

Of course, I'd also be a dick, so there's that.

Also, if they do come to the gather, what is the etiquette regarding chores. I mean, if we're at my place then they're guests, so I can't ask them to do the washing up, but on the other hand I might feel mean dragging Hanna or Andrew away to get the dishes. On the gripping hand, I can't do it all myself; that way madness lies, and I'm not even being particularly hyperbolic. It was feeling all excluded and struggling with a pile of washing up at the far end of the flat that left me in a major meltdown at the start of the year.

Buzzapalooza and other Christmas Adventures

Christmas.

Oh dear gods I am tired.

Good news! Even after Christmas, I fit into a 38" waist and weight a mere 104kg (down from about 117kg in the summer.) Bad news! I am pretty much broken after Christmas, with all its running around and New Year late nights and inevitable emotional turmoil.

To sum up my experience of Christmas with a small child (as opposed to last year's Christmas with a baby,) it's a rollercoaster. Take one small child, ply with (modest, but still unprecedented quantities of) sugar and surround with the Sisyphean dilemma of more cool stuff than she has hands.

Christmas at home was an almost unalloyed success, and I only say almost because Arya got bored of opening presents halfway through and we left the lights on and a bag of rubbish in the middle of kitchen when we left. My Christmas ham (with a honey-mustard glaze and a recipe from the Hairy Bikers) was a great success, and if I almost murdered my metamour over prep then the lesson not to try and partner up over something as time critical as eggs benedict was one well learned and there was no actual harm done.

A selection of top gifts include a beautiful tagine and a Moomin with a nerf gun. Okay, I got a Moomin and a nerf gun, but I insist on my right to arm Finnish troll creatures (to defend against the bears, yo.) Also a TARDIS cookie jar with light and sound (from Hanna's brother) which Arya absolutely loves.

Christmas Day at my parents' was also pretty good, and I think that Andrew overcame his nerves at spending time with my family in his abject wonder in the Mill. My parents live in a converted steam mill in the Norfolk countryside, and it's basically the foundation of Andrew's dream smallholding; veg garden, chickens, loads of space. We might need to buy out the neighbours to fit the pigs.

We then spent a couple of nights at Hanna's parents' place in Leeds. En route we saw maybe half a dozen large birds of prey, mostly buzzards but Hanna thought one might be an actual eagle. I dubbed this peculiar density of raptors 'Buzzapalooza', a phrase that Hanna insisted should be blogged.

For the record the next time I suggest sleeping on the sofa at Hanna's parents' house, I deserve to be kicked. It wasn't so much that it was cramped as the air freshener which periodically wheezed and rattled into life; not that that would have been so bad if I hadn't been listening to The Call of Cthulhu on my phone...

My flat is now a den of vice.

Then we had a few days back in Martlesham, including New Years Eve, which was marked by four games of Pandemic (Andrew's Christmas present from Hanna,) in which the world was consumed by plague each time. In game one we were three cures down when the deck ran out; in game four we timed out with half the plagues cured. Games two and three were more unfortunate and we witnessed catastrophic early-game outbreaks of the Red Death and North African Zombie Plague respectively (although Hanna insists we probably gave up too early on the latter having lost a cube and thus not actually emptied the box.)

In retrospect, I probably should have gone to bed early on the 1st, but I find it hard to regret sitting up with Hannah watching MASH (which gave us the vocabulary to be properly outraged when Andrew asked Arya to pass him his slippers the next day.)

On the 3rd I spent the day with Arya while Hanna and Andrew went off to sit in traffic (not the plan,) which was stressful, but good.

The 4th was my birthday and... In all honesty, it could have gone better. The brain weasels were out in force (in part because, having not opted for the early night on the 1st/2nd, being awake with Arya half the night on the 3rd left me completely trollied) and I ended up going to bed early because I felt completely isolated.

Note to self for future reference: When you feel isolated, cutting yourself off from the people you love and who love you is dumb. I spent almost an hour feeling sorry for myself before deciding to man up and go back out to spend time with Hanna while I could, and just a few minutes in her company had me smiling and feeling loved again (if a little guilty for letting her go through the trauma of a Call the Midwife Christmas special on her own.)

And so this is Christmas

This is either a huge pile of pressies or a very small tree.*

This is going to be a different sort of Christmas.

I have my own tree, my own lights; my own stack of presents in the corner of my own living room, in my own house. In a few hours, my own family will be joining me here. We'll be spending the evening here and in the morning opening our presents here, in my own house.

That's a big thing. My whole life, Christmas has been spent in someone else's home, usually my parents' and more recently with Hannah's parents. We will be seeing both sets, my parents later on Christmas Day and Hannah's on Boxing Day, but we're starting the day with eggs and presents in my home, with Hannah here and Andrew, and of course Arya.

Not so long ago, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of having a family. Arya has been a life-changer for me, and Hannah little less so. This isn't Arya's first Christmas, but that was spent at Hannah's parents and, while a good time, wasn't ours in the way that this year is looking to be. In a lot of ways, this is going to be my first grown-up Christmas, and I'm looking forward to it.

The full plan is that once Arya is in bed, we will chill, play board games and eat baked Camembert. In the morning we will open presents, and have eggs Benedict with ham I am cooking today and eggs royale with salmon Hannah cured at the weekend. Hannah and Andrew will have a glass of prosecco and Arya and I will have orange juice. Later, we will drive to Norfolk and have Christmas dinner with my parents, with more presents.

On Boxing Day morning, we'll head north to Leeds for a couple of days with Hannah's family, before coming back to Martlesham. Not sure where the new year is going to be spent, but I'm hoping to be back here for my birthday on the 4th.

* It's a very small tree.